Four years ago

Four years ago today I was working on the final revisions to my prelim proposal and exchanging emails with a friend about wedding invitations. Then my sister died.

This day is hard. Her birthday is hard. She was only 21.

I am thankful that 3.5 years ago I found a wonderful counselor to help me with my grief. I am making time to remember my sister tonight, but today I have to work.

[I try to follow my own advice when someone I know experiences a loss.]

2009 in review

I've always enjoyed sitting down at the end of a calendar year and reflecting on what the passing year brought and what the new year may bring. This has been an unforgettable year.

The trend of events in 2009 was very similar to 2008- the beginning of the year brought tragedies but then many wonderful things happened. I am thankful that there have been many uplifting events this year to thwart despair. If I had to pick a theme for 2009, it would be self-context. I didn't go into 2009 expecting to find new revelations about my work habits and hurdles in the field, nor could I have possibly imagined the tremendous losses in my family and my personal struggles accompanying their deaths. I have been seeing a great therapist this fall to help me unravel the interconnected themes of sisterhood, family, death, regret, religion, self-esteem, loss, health, and communication. I have come to see my strengths and weaknesses in a much deeper context of past experiences and family dynamics, and I think these realizations (and so many others) will help me overcome personal and professional challenges.

Here's a brief recap of 2009:
January- Jon and I went to Obama's inauguration and I prepared for prelims.
February- My grandmother passed away after a difficult surgery, followed immediately, independently, and unexpectedly by my younger sister's death the next day due to pulmonary thrombosis resulting from misdiagnosed blood clots. That pretty much says it all. February was the worst month of my life.
March- I passed my prelims!
April- I received the graduate research fellowship, and Jon and I got married!
May- I went to Ukenzagapia for my first real field season.
June- Jon came to visit me in Ukenzagapia.
August- I returned from Ukenzagapia.
October- I went to a conference, we visited family in Canada, saw tons of friends who came into town for my best friend's wedding, and went back to Small Friendly College.
November & December- Pretty uneventful but traveled a lot and saw lots of family at the holidays.

Since self-context wasn't exactly on my list of goals for 2009, I'd like to address some of the ones that were.

Academic goals:
1) Prelims!  DONE!
2) Finally publish the damn review paper. NOPE. Maybe 2010...
3) Collect and analyze data from my first field season. I got the 'collect' part done but not the analysis.

4) Get the friggin' NSF Graduate Research Fellowship. DONE! Thank God!
5) Continue to seek opportunities to communicate my research to non-scientists. Not really. I did a poor job of this in 2009. I need to think strategically about how to do this in 2010.


Even though I wasn't able to get that review sent out for publication or analyze my data, I am feeling pretty good about my progress. I didn't teach at all this year but did write letters of recommendation for a fantastic former student and it has been a joy to see her interest in research develop, even though it is an entirely different field of biology. I have a project underway in Ukenzagapia and several possibilities for doable projects in the field over the next two years. I submitted a big grant (still waiting to hear) and got a fellowship and two other small grants to fund my research. I am about one day of work away from submitting a short note based on observations from my first field season, which will be my first publication from grad school. I'm finished with all of the classes I have to take, and mostly finished with my interdisciplinary group project. Soon I'll return to Ukenzagapia for my next field season. Not bad.

Personal goals:
1) Exercise regularly and frequently. Could've been worse. I did well in the spring, burned a lot of calories in the field, but not this past fall. I can do better.

2) Contribute to my IRA. Pretty good. Not as much as I'd like, but we do contribute a fixed percent of Jon's income now now which I like.
3) Make monthly contributions to Small Friendly College and small monthly donations to public radio. DONE! This makes me happy.
4) Get some of the kids in our lives (cousins, nieces, nephews) to visit us in Big City. DONE! Hopefully we'll have more kid visitors in 2010.
5) Go dancing at least once per month. NOPE. Not even close.
6) Foster more discussion on this blog. Not really, but my readership has grown steadily (if slowly).

So much has happened in my personal life this year! Since I already mentioned the difficult things above, I'm not going to talk more about those here. 2009 was a fantastic year for seeing friends and family. According to our guest book, we had 51 different people stay at our apartment on at least 125 different nights (a month of that was while Jon was in Ukenzagapia), including two different grad students and a family of three who were subletters at different times. Not only did we get friends and family to come see us in Big City, we traveled a lot this year (especially for weddings- including our own). Married life for us has so far been very much like our unmarried life, which is to say that it's great :-)

I'm thankful that we didn't move this year. For the first time in 10 years, neither of us moved a significant portion of our belongings! That does mean that we have acquired a fair amount of stuff we don't need that we need to creatively rid ourselves of in January. When I'm actually in Big City, I have greatly enjoyed taking care of my houseplants, container gardening outside on our balcony, working in the community garden, cooking the fruits of my labor, entertaining friends and family, and deciding how to incorporate new art (like our marriage certificate) and furniture that Jon builds into our apartment. We love where we live and hope that we don't have to move again until we leave Big City when I finish my Ph.D.

I love blogging, and have found the blog to be a great way for me to process and share my life experiences. Thank you to all of my readers for sharing in it.

Happy New Year!

We're married!

Our wedding on Saturday and was fantastic. The weather was great, our marriage certificate was beautiful, the ceremony was wonderful, and the reception was a blast. Thanks to all of my readers who were there and helped make everything go so smoothly!

Many people have asked if I'm changing my name. I'm not, so I guess that makes me Mrs. Karina Anirak until I become Dr. Karina Anirak. I like the name Anirak and I've published under it (barely) so I'm content to remain an Anirak. Jon likes being Jon Rene and is keeping his name. We'll cross the what-do-you-name-the-children bridge when we get there.

Photo added May 27, 2009

why travel agents are still useful

Friday was  a total whirlwind in which I ran all over the place, including through the airport.* Now we're in Jon's hometown finishing up the wedding preparation** and trying to iron out important details for my upcoming trip to Ukenzagapia.

Last year on my way back from Ukenzagapia I flew some insane path on a non-refundable ticket that took more than 36 hours and resulted in my bags being severely delayed. I have vowed  never to fly that way again. I've raised my standards for international flights. I just can't risk losing my bags because this time their contents will be even more valuable.

My higher standards (among other things) have resulted in higher ticket prices this year. Someone at the museum who frequently travels to Ukenzagapia recommend that I contact a travel agent. The power of the internet and plethora of cheap airfare sites makes travel agents seem unnecessary, but this travel agent saved me $300 on my ticket and my fare is refundable. Amazing. I think that it is worthwhile to consult a travel agent for international travel, especially one that specializes in the region where you are going.

Jon got his tickets through the same travel agent, though his are more expensive since he's flying at abusier travel time than me. Now that we both have our tickets to Ukenzagapia, we submitted all of the necessary paperwork for our visas. I leave on May 15!

*We made an embarassing public transportation mistake followed by a bad decision that resulted in us checking our bags only 30 minutes before our flight. Only one of the bags made it at the same time we did.

**It is supposed to be beautiful and sunny on Saturday with a high of 80° F. Fantastic!

April 15? Really?

Last night as I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep I realized suddenly that I am leaving for Ukenzagapia again soon. It has felt like such a far-off event for so long that it just hit me last night that I'm leaving in a month.

In the next month I need to:
-Get a visa
-Buy tickets
-Order equipment & supplies
-Submit grant from my prelim proposal
-Submit grant I've been sitting on for months
-Send my endless review article somewhere
-Figure out how I'm going to answer the research questions I need to answer this summer

I think this would be a busy month with these things alone. Add onto that the fact that Jon and I are getting married in 10 days and that we'll be away from Big City for a week... and I'm trying not to be completely overwhelmed. I have so. much. to. do. Better stop blogging and start working.

schedule madness

Between my prelims (two weeks ago now) and May, there is something happening every single weekend. I'm not just talking having people over for dinner or something (we do that almost once a week anyways); I mean we're either going somewhere or people are staying with us. We pushed a bunch of trips into that time frame (post-prelims).* The weekend after prelims we visited my parents, last weekend we went to a wedding, next weekend we have other family visiting, the next weekend I'm going to a bridal shower for my friend, the weekend after that we're visiting Jon's sister, and then we leave to finish preparing things the weekend before our wedding, then our wedding and then it's May!

Tonight my mom and my sister's boyfriend are staying with us. Thursday evening my aunt, uncle, cousin, and Jon's niece all arrive for the weekend. Also, a visiting student at BNHM is subletting our guest room for the month of April. He's moving in on Monday right after our family leaves.

I had big plans for getting stuff done this week, but my time is seriously squeezed between our friend's wedding and the accompanying mini-vacation and several family members visiting. Tomorrow I start seeing a counselor. I might not get anything done at all. Gotta get that grant out.

*Actually, we also had 11 people spend the night at our apartment on the Friday before my prelims. I might still blog about that.

weekend adventures

We're in San Diego this weekend for the wedding of two of our friends from SFC. They are the first of our close friends to get married. This begins the wave of weddings for us in 2009. My best friend just got engaged last weekend, so that's another wedding for 2009! That makes eight (four from SFC).

The wedding yesterday was amazing. The ceremony was outside overlooking the Pacific Ocean. We had a great time dancing at the reception and the SFC crowd "won the party" (or at least we tried, the caterers might have actually won when they took away the keg that wasn't finished). I broke a wine glass when I tried to set it down too hard and then did a fantastic improvisation of a choreographed routine I did in college. Yep, I was drunk.

We're having a great time exploring the San Diego area and southern California. We're making a long weekend of it and going home late Monday night. Maybe I'll post some photos of our adventures. Tomorrow we're going to Joshua Tree National Park but I've scheduled a post.

Also, today is Jon's birthday. This has been much better than last year, when Jon spent his entire birthday with me in the hospital because I had appendicitis. Maybe I'll add a photo of my scar one year post-appendectomy. ***Note: Photo added on March 24.***


Ok, that's enough rambling for tonight. We're got to rest up for our adventures tomorrow!

wedding blogging

Last weekend we went to visit my parents and got back Monday evening. I've been meaning to blog but time in the evenings has just been filling up with other things, like trying to finish up all of the wedding things that we've been putting off until after my prelims!

After much consternation, our wedding invitations have finally been sent (except for the international ones). We haven't seen them yet because my friend from high school did them. I regret getting another person involved and if I were to do it again we'd do it ourselves. I had a very specific idea in my head of what I wanted but I didn't think I could make it myself. In hindsight, I think I could. I just wish someone else could read my mind, since even detailed descriptions of a vision can be inadequate to convey the idea. But, whatever, the invitations are good enough. I like them.

I find this wedding planning process in general to be overwhelming. There are so many decisions to make. I think if I didn't have a job then I could enjoy the deciding the exact color of the center of the dogwood flowers on my invitations and the pattern of silverware we rent. The thing is that for most of these little details we don't really know what we want. Once I start trying to decide though, I go from having no idea at all to a clear vision. Making that vision a reality is the frustrating part, especially if Jon and I have different visions!

We are ordering a Quaker marriage certificate with our vows that will be signed by everyone present at our ceremony. We will frame it and hang it on the wall in our apartment, so it's very important to us. We decided that this is something we are willing to spend a lot of money on. We are hiring a calligrapher/artist to make it. The problem is that Jon's vision of our certificate is something like the constitution, whereas mine has flowers and color.

Jon's ideal marriage certificate, above (Image source)

My vision for our certificate is more like this (Image source)

Jon's preference is for a certificate without flowers or decorations- just black script on white paper. He loves black and white. I want to have the general layout of the certificate pictured above, but with dogwood branches and flowers instead of fall leaves. Jon is ok with flowers, but wants them to be stark contrast black pen and ink rather than the watercolors that are more common on marriage certificates. I have a beautiful vision in my head of what it would look like in watercolor, and his vision is pen and ink. Further complicating this is that we can't find any examples of marriage certificates in the style Jon prefers and I'm for some reason having a hard time picturing it in a way that doesn't look plain.

Also, did I mention that our wedding is just 5 weeks away, which is pretty much the minimum time for getting a hand-made marriage certificate? This is high on the list of things we should've made a decision about months ago, or chosen an artist at the very least.

In case you're interested, we're trying to decide between these two talented artists who both do beautiful work: Calligraphica and Sally Sanders. Now Jon and I are going to debate the pros and cons.

trying not to freak out

Today was exactly one month since my sister died. It was even the same day of the week, so I spent most of the morning doing the same type of stuff I was doing one month ago and trying not to freak out. If I didn't have my prelims on Monday, I don't think I would've done any work this morning. I don't really feel like I have time to mourn until after prelims because it's so
exhausting to cry. School is a distraction but I'm having a hard time keeping my sister from distracting me sometimes.

I'm still trying to finish reading everything that committee members assigned, prepare my presentation, and prepare for some of the questions I know I'll be asked. I'm letting most of the self-assigned papers for prelims fall to the wayside. There are still several things that I'm unsure how to answer and would like to be able to know more about before Monday. Trying not to freak out.

Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment to talk about my own risk for blood clots, and then an appointment with a counselor. At first I didn't think I'd need a counselor, but Jon convinced me on Sunday night when I was really upset. I hope I can still get some work done tomorrow.

It looks like we're finally sending out wedding invitations this weekend. Just like the day my sister died, I spent part of this morning exchanging emails about invitations. I just want these to be done and out. I'm so overwhelmed by having to decide all of these stupid little wedding details. If I'd known it was going to take us this long to figure out the invitations I would've just picked something or done it myself 5 weeks ago. Seven weeks until our wedding. Trying not to freak out.

We have several people spending the night on Friday and we need to clean, not just tidy, the apartment before then, especially since some people will be sleeping on the floor. We haven't mopped since we cleaned the sticky spots on the floor after our party before Christmas. My desk is covered in things from my grandma and my sister that I have to go through or at the very least clear off of my desk before guests come. Trying not to freak out.

One thing I have been doing well is making time to work out. I've been swimming 2-3 times per week, going to 1 group fitness class, and doing treadmill/bike/elliptical about twice a week. I discovered that I can read papers while on the stationary bike so that makes it easier for me to make time, plus I've been swimming after biking/running to make the best use of my time at the gym.

Four whole days before prelims. Still trying not to freak out.

trying to catch up (or at least not fall further behind)

My prelims are 3 weeks from today. I requested feedback from my committee members on my proposal by today, and so far have only received it from Melody. Should I send a polite email to the others reminding them that I need their feedback soon? I'll get feedback from Herb and the rest of my lab tomorrow at our meeting. We were supposed to talk about my review last week, but instead we're talking about my prelim proposal this week.

Last Thursday I talked to Herb about my sister. He wasn't all that comforting. The least helpful thing he said was something like, "Well, you're still young. When you're older you learn how to deal with things like this." Maybe, but totally not helpful. I won't hold it against him though as I know he's understanding of how difficult this is even if he didn't articulate it very well. He gave me a check to help cover my travel expenses to get home.

My classmates have all been very supportive. I've received some hugs, many emails and calls, some cards in the old fashioned mail, and my interdisciplinary cohort sent flowers to both my grandmother's and sister's funerals. Friends have brought food and helped clean.

Last week I got a massage and I'm going to get one next week too. I can get cheap massages as a student and it's something I can do for myself. I'm also trying to keep up my exercising, especially swimming. I was registered for a triathlon on Feb. 8 but we were in the midst of funerals so obviously I missed it. Hopefully I can do one in March. If not, Jon will come to the gym and time me in all of the events for my own little triathlon.

I need to send my final prelim proposal draft to my committee in one week. I honestly haven't even looked at it since I made revisions the morning my sister died (11 days ago... already?). I'll do that tomorrow morning.

Then we've got that wedding to plan. We need to send invitations in one week and we don't have them yet. I think we're behind by absolutely every wedding planner's agenda of what is supposed to be done when. My sister was going to cut my hair and help with my makeup... another thing to figure out.

very sad news

My grandmother passed away this morning. She recently had surgery to remove a cancerous growth in her lung. The surgery was, of course, supposed to go smoothly but there were complications and it sounds like then she was ready to check out. I wasn't ready for this. I wanted her to be at our wedding in April. My grandpa died 10 months ago on their anniversary.

Jon is traveling this week for work and will probably miss the funeral. I don't know when it will be yet but probably sometime this weekend so I'll have to figure out how to get there and back. So, don't expect much blogging from me this week. I probably haven't read your blog and generally have no idea what's going on in the blogosphere.

more of my life in comics

I'm learning that even low-key Quaker-style weddings with lots of helping hands get expensive with >100 people. Eloping would've been our best option financially, but then we wouldn't have everyone there to sign our marriage certificate.

recipie for stress

I'm working at school for most of today and tomorrow because I have to get a prelim proposal draft to my committee early next week... and I haven't started writing it. I've been thinking about it a lot but not actually writing anything. Today I start writing.

Among normal everyday things like classes, I have a prelim proposal draft due in 3 days, a major revision of my review due in 2 weeks, the final prelim proposal due in a month, training for a timed indoor triathlon in 2 weeks, spending way more time than I thought I would be on my part-time job, and last but not least I'm planning a wedding 3 months from tomorrow on a small budget.

Two of my best girlfriends from SFC are getting married in the month before and month after our wedding. I just got off the phone with the one getting married in May. She wanted me to be one of her bridesmaids but I'll be in Ukenzagapia for the wedding. I feel like crying. Maybe I need to eat lunch.

Oh, we're also having a party tonight and haven't gone grocery shopping since before Christmas. We officially ran out of pasta last night which is basically a sign of famine in our household.

OMG weddings and babies!

Ok, I just got home and I have tons of work to do tonight but before I get started I have to write about this. I'm seriously that age. It seems like everyone I know is getting freakin' engaged right now! Just in the past week THREE people that we know have gotten engaged.

2009 wedding count: 7
-Us
-Friends from SFC
-Other friends from SFC
-My cousin (I'm missing her wedding because I'll be in Ukenzagapia)-:
-Jon's boss
-A friend from high school
-More friends from SFC

These are only the weddings we're sure we'll be invited to, and it's only January! How many more weddings will there be in 2009?

Also, my friend Cora emailed me this morning to tell me that she's in labor and I'm expecting an announcement of the baby's birth any moment now!

Looking ahead to 2009

Last year I wrote about my hopes and dreams for 2008 and I'm doing the same for 2009. It's interesting for me to look back on it now, although I wish I'd thought to review last year's goals a few times throughout the year, too!

2009 will be an exciting year for us with quite a bit of traveling. Jon and I are getting married in April and I'll have my first real field season in Ukenzagapia. We're attending at least one wedding in addition to our own (almost inevitably there will be more as we seem to be that age). We're also planning to attend Obama's inaugural festivities in Washington, DC later this month. As Jon says, it's probably the most historic event of our lifetimes that we'll know about in advance.

After moving annually for the past 5 years, I really, truly think we're staying put in 2009. Going to Ukenzagapia for 3 months doesn't count since we'll keep our apartment and Jon will be here for most of the summer. I'm sad to be missing most of summer and the container gardening opportunities that go along with it, but I have to remind myself that it's only one summer. Maybe Jon can at least grow some basil while I'm gone. My plan is to be here for summer 2010.

Academic goals:
1) Prelims! They're happening in March. This is an important milestone in my career and I'll become a Ph.D. candidate. During this process I'll have to figure out what data I plan to collect this summer.
2) Finally publish the damn review paper. I really will, even though I thought I'd get it done in 2008.
3) Collect and analyze data from my first field season. This should turn into one or two small papers, but at best they'll probably be rough manuscripts by the time 2009 is out.
4) Get the friggin' NSF Graduate Research Fellowship or complete applications for other fellowships in the likely event that that doesn't happen.
5) Continue to seek opportunities to communicate my research to non-scientists.

Personal goals:
1) I really want to exercise regularly and frequently. Last semester I went to the gym an average of once per week, which was an improvement from last spring when I hardly went at all and suffered the consequences. I had weird back pains and I think it was from my lack of exercise. In order to get physically fit before going to Ukenzagapia, I would like to train for a sprint triathlon. Mariyah wants to do one too, so now we've got to find one and start training. I really suck at swimming so that will be a particularly big challenge for me. Between my prelims, a friend's wedding, my own wedding, and leaving for Ukenzagapia, finding a triathlon in the spring may be difficult!
2) I failed miserably at contributing to my IRA this year. I'm going to use the extra money I've been setting aside for taxes (they aren't taken out of my paycheck) for a contribution to the 2008 tax year, and then I'm going to automatically invest a set amount every month, maybe $200. I did this while working at Mid-Atlantic Field Station with great success, though we were also living well below our means and saving as much as we could for our trip to Remote Foreign Country.
3) This year I would like to start making monthly contributions to Small Friendly College and continue my small monthly donations to public radio. I'll make one-time contributions to other organizations.
4) In 2008 we succeeded in getting birthday and Christmas gifts for the kiddos in our lives, and this year we want some of them to visit us in Big City. Making this happen may be difficult considering that the best time is probably summer when they're out of school- but I'll be in Ukenzagapia.
5) I want to go dancing at least once per month. I love dancing and it is tragic that I can count on one hand how many times I've gone out dancing in the past two (maybe even three) years.

As far as blogging goes, I would like to foster more discussion on this blog. I seem not to be very good at it, so that is something I would like to improve in 2009.

The economic recession is sure to play an important role in 2009, though I'm unsure how it will affect me directly. Jon's employment is secure though it may slow down. My fellowship lasts until spring 2010 so I'm not dependent on TA positions that may be cut. A friend from high school and my uncle have both been laid off, but none of my immediate family members (nor Jon's) are in imminent danger of losing their jobs. I am very thankful for this, but my heart goes out to those who are unable to make ends meet. I hope that we will be able to rebuild our economic systems, infrastructure, and conservation ethic as a result of this disaster.

Finally, dear readers, I would like to leave you with a question that has been on my mind, How am I going to make the world a better place in 2009? How can I be the change I want to see in the world?

I haven't come close to answering it myself, but if you've figure out how you're going to make the world a better place this year, please do share!

discount dress

My mom and sister have been in town all weekend for my bridal shower, so once again I haven't done any work. I have a 10 page paper to write for Wednesday that I haven't started, but there isn't much else going on this week so I'm not worried. I spread my major assignments and deadlines throughout the semester very nicely I think.

Anyways, I had a great time and got some fun things at the shower. My best friend and her mom planned it, my mom baked the cake, and almost everyone in the area was able to come.* After the shower, I went dress shopping with my mom and sister at David's Bridal. We went to look for ideas for bodice styles because my mom was going to make my dress, but we found one on the $99 sale rack that fit me perfectly! It turns out I'm a perfect David's Bridal size 4. My mom is still going to shorten it (I don't want a long dress) and make a few other changes, but it will save her a lot of work. I didn't expect to find a dress so quickly!

Today we got a Christmas tree and my sister cut and colored my hair. She's my stylist so I have her cut my hair a few times a year. Sometimes she also colors it. It hides my gray, which is slowly creeping in more and more.

*This came back to bite us in the ass again. The wife of the couple whose car we had before Thanksgiving was planning to come, but her husband had one car key and we still had the other! So, she wasn't able to come :-(

home again

We had an enjoyable and productive Thanksgiving weekend, which I will summarize with bullets for your reading pleasure.

• We ate huge multi-course meals on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday with huge breakfast and lunch on Saturday.
• I can't believe how much cheese I ate. I love cheese. Especially expensive cheese that I'm usually much too frugal to buy.
• I also can't believe how much I drank. At least a glass or two of wine (which easily gets me tipsy on an empty stomach) with each of those huge meals and plenty of beer in between.
• We house-hopped among Jon's family and didn't spend two consecutive nights in the same house.
• We figured out more logistics for our wedding in April.
• I had lunch with a former coworker/boss/friend of mine.
• Jon's dentist brother cleaned my teeth. I need to floss more.
• I adore Jon's nieces and nephews because they're all so smart, well behaved, and fun to hang out with.
• I didn't do much work. Monday was supposed to be my work day but his brother inconveniently didn't know the password for their protected wireless internet. Basically everything I needed to do required me to be online. So much for that plan.
  

Ok, back to work!

wedding date!

Whew, we finally figured it out! April 25, 2009. The ceremony and reception will be near Jon's Hometown. I'll have about three weeks between the wedding and my return to Ukenzagapia for my first full field season.

I promise this won't turn into a wedding blog. If I really need to blog about it that much I'll start a non-anonymous wedding blog, but I've got enough blogging for now.

advice?

Last week I really got in a slump about my review paper but I didn't write about it. I'm looking forward to classes starting so that I have other projects to work on.

This week we're visiting Jon's Hometown. We've got to figure out a date for the wedding.

Here's a brief recap of the difficulty:

• We'd like to have the reception at Jon's sister's house. I'm having a hard time imagining it in another space. Renting a space also significantly increases the cost of the wedding. To have it at her house, the date absolutely has to work for her. All but the end of May is out.
  
• Due to class constraints, I will only be able to go to Ukenzagapia and begin collecting data from mid-May to mid-late-August. I'm concerned that if the wedding is too late in May that I won't have a long enough field season.
  

So, readers, here are my questions for you.

1. How heavily do I weigh my desired departure date for Ukenzagapia versus having the wedding at Jon's sister's house?
2. How should I bring this up with my advisors?
   

field work and wedding planning

Finding a wedding date is getting more complicated. Ideally, I would like the wedding to be at the beginning of May when the semester is wrapping up. Then I can leave for Ukenzagapia a couple of weeks later and still have most of the summer to start my research.

I'm a little anxious that I won't even begin collecting data until next summer (the end of my second year), and because of the course requirements for my sweet fellowship I have to be back in Big City August 2009 - May 2010 for classes. That means I won't have my second field season until the end of my third year or later.

This relates to wedding planning because it looks like we might not be able to have the wedding until the end of May, which pushes back the start of my time-restricted field season even further.

Here are the main things limiting the date of the wedding right now (there are probably even more things to consider, but these are the ones I'm currently aware of):

• Jon's sister's schedule, since we're planning to have the reception at her house (most weekends in May are out for her). This is probably the greatest limitation on dates.
• the weather. We don't want it to be too cold or rainy because we want most of the reception to be in the yard, not the house.
• school. When the semester is over is preferable. I'd be willing to consider April if the weather would agree.
• a big local event happening near Jon's sister's. It goes from late April to early May, and all of the area hotels will be booked.
• my need to leave the country and do field work halfway around the world.

Mid-April is looking better and better.