Tuesday, February 10, 2009

My sister died the day after my grandmother. I haven't known how to say it here. Everything I imagine writing seems inadequate to convey how tragic this past week has been.

She was my only sister. We were such different people. It wasn't supposed to be this way. We were supposed to have years ahead of us to work out our differences and grow closer. This is so hard for so many reasons.

I went to school on Wednesday determined to be more energetic than on Tuesday when my day started with the news that my grandmother passed away. Then I got a call from my dad in the late morning. He sobbed, "I've got really bad news, honey." My 21 year old sister passed out right after coming home to my parents' house after a doctor's appointment for her 'bronchitis.' They thought she had a heart attack and the paramedics tried for 25 minutes to revive her; they couldn't.

Mariyah helped me figure out how to get to my parents asap, Jon flew back across the country from his work trip, my best friend brought me home from school and helped me pack, and we got to my parents house at 2 am on Thursday morning.

On Thursday we made arrangements at the funeral home and found out from the autopsy that she died from bilateral pulmonary thromboembolism. Her earlier symptoms of blood clots were misdiagnosed as muscle strain (leg pain) and bronchitis (shortness of breath, coughing). If you would like to know more, please email me and I will send them to you. I won't post the details here.

On Friday we drove with my parents to a different part of the state for my grandmother's visitation and funeral on Saturday. My dad's entire family was there, so it was wonderful to be with them for those two days even under such awful circumstances.

On Sunday we drove back to my parents' hometown. My sister's visitation lasted four hours and about 170 people came. Monday was the funeral at my parents' church. I saw so many family members that I haven't seen in ages and it made it easier to cope knowing that so many people were there to support us.

Now Jon and I are back home in Big City. I am so thankful that my parents have the support of their church community and their families, and thankful that we have so many fantastic friends here who have offered to help.

It's going to be a long road, but I know I won't walk alone.

11 comments:

Fia said...

Oh my. I feel so sorry for your losses. This is a lot at the same time. I wish you strength.

Eugenie said...

My condolences. Theo told me last week and you've been in my thoughts and prayers since then.

Academic said...

May their memories be eternal. You've been in my thoughts and prayers since first reading about your grandmother. I can't imagine losing a sibling right now. Grieving is hard, and I'm not going to tell anyone how to do it. But I have been thinking about you. Hang in there.

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KGG said...

I think about you and your family everyday. It's such a terrible loss. Sending you strength and love across the miles.

Nicole said...

*hug* I'm so sorry, and I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts.

Albatross said...

I am so sorry for your loss. You will be in my thoughts.

EcoGeoFemme said...

I'm so so sorry for you. I can't imagine dealing with such tragedy all at once. I'm glad you have lots of loving family to help each other through such a difficult time. You'll be in my thoughts.

Karina said...

Thanks for your sympathies everyone. I really appreciate it.

JaneB said...

Oh my word, how dreadful for you and your parents. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

penn said...

I'm sorry for your losses. Unexpected ones are surely a great blow. You'll be in my thoughts.