I started blogging 10 years ago, right before starting grad school. This blog chronicled 6.5 years of grad school (approximately 13,507 hours of work) and the 3.5 years since officially graduating. During that time, I lost 3 close family members, got married, spent over a year doing field work in Africa, got a dog, had a baby, moved to a new city, and had three different jobs as a PhD. This has been an eventful decade.
For the first few years, I blogged several times per month (or even several times per week). It was an opportunity for me to reflect on my experiences and practice writing. Looking back on many of my early posts in the writing of this, I am struck as much by the things that haven't changed as much as the things that have. I still love Small Friendly College just as much as in 2007 (and the post made me teary again). I see major parts my current self in these older writings. In some cases, I captured events that I see now had outsized importance in shaping my current career, like a workshop on science communication and an interdisciplinary project. There are threads and early hints of the ideas and concepts that are hugely important to my present work, which makes me feel like I'm in the right place now in my career.
In some ways, I don't think I've changed substantially, but I've learned so much about myself in the last 10 years. I've grown. I wrote in 2009 that I needed to be more of a badass. I most definitely am. My moments of greatest badass-ness are probably still finishing my dissertation before my daughter was born, then giving birth to her and going through (and recovering from) serious complications. To finish my dissertation, I toughed it out and kept my eye on the prize with intense focus to the exclusion of everything else non-essential. When recovering from childbirth, I refused to accept my limited mobility and searched and read until I found the right people and resources to help me heal. During grad school, and especially during field work, I became aware of my common mental traps and I'm much better at avoiding them now that I know the signs (like being indecisive). I am nothing if not resourceful, and as my personal networks and knowledge have grown, I have an ever-growing pool of ideas to draw upon. This last year in my new job has especially helped me realize and appreciate the breadth and depth of skills and networks I have, and given me many more ideas for how I can leverage them to do good and awesome things. I, too, can stand on the shoulders of giants—in life as well as in research.
My favorite genre of books is scientist memoirs (e.g. Richard Feynman), especially field biologists (e.g. Jane Goodall and Robert Sapolsky). I love reading about the adventures that happen in the pursuit of science. I love reading about how they live their science-y lives, what their families think, how they raised kids, what went wrong, and how they overcame adversity. Their stories have helped me imagine what my life could be. Blogs by scientists about their lives scratched a similar itch.
Blogging was also a community, and the other women in science bloggers were my mentors. I learned so much from them. I read blogs of more advanced students describing drama in their committees (I learned years later that managing your committee is a classic example of "managing up"). I read about postdocs applying for faculty positions. I read stories of scientists in all career stages struggling with chronic health issues, infertility, and difficult relationships. I was unquestionably better prepared to be a good graduate student and navigate the potential job market afterwards as a result of the science blog community. I'd like to throw some nonspecific thanks out into the universe to the dozens (hundreds?) of bloggers from whom I gleaned wisdom and advice. Thank you!
While blogging during grad school, I accidentally discovered the identities of a few bloggers I followed, and a few people discovered me (one person anonymously and mysteriously tried to "out" me). I made real life friends because of this blog, and it was a way to re-connect with a handful of trusted people that I invited to read it. A few of you are still reading. Thanks for following my sometimes vague and pseudonymized adventures!
I watched, always with sadness, when other bloggers decided to call it quits for one reason or another. More often, they didn't have closure and just stopped writing, or I just stopped reading. Probably kind of like this—I stopped writing so often. In part I blame the declining popularity of RSS and therefore the declining options for good feed readers. Somewhere along the migration from one feed reader to another, I lost track. It has been a long time since I regularly read other people's blogs, so my blogging is overwhelmingly an introspective exercise.
It would probably be fitting, after a decade of blogging as an "aspiring ecologist", to declare this the end. But I imagine I'll still want to blog occasionally, and I'm frankly not motivated enough to set up another blog, so I'll stick with what I've got. Those of you who are friends in real life know where to find me, and if you've been reading this for years and still don't know who I am but want to be friends in real life, drop me a note.
I'm excited about the next 10 years. I've got big ideas that have been simmering for a while now. With the right combination of preparation and luck (there's always luck), it could be awesome. Or, more likely, I'll end up doing something 10 years from now that I can't even imagine at present. Let's see where the next decade goes!
Showing posts with label women in science. Show all posts
Showing posts with label women in science. Show all posts
Sunday, July 30, 2017
Saturday, April 25, 2015
Supporting a former student's return to college
Last week I received an email from a former student asking for a letter of recommendation. I was her TA during my very first semester of grad school in 2007, then I wrote several letters of recommendation for summer research programs in spring 2009 (I blogged about it at the time). She then studied abroad in 2010 and I hadn't heard from her since.
In the meantime, she dropped out of college, moved somewhere else, got married, had 2 kids, and is now trying to return to school to finish her bachelor's degree and become a high school teacher. She has been accepted and needs the letter to apply for a scholarship. I very much want to support this woman. She was one of my most memorable and impressive students, and was the first in her family to be born in the U.S. and attend college.
Before I can write her a powerful letter, I think I need to talk with her directly about her path back to school. Her writing could use some editing. She sent mer her personal statement, and I actually have a couple of her old person statements on file from years ago. Her family (parents especially) loom large in her writings and there are some discrepancies between the two versions that I wouldn't expect to change with time. I also saw her transcript and she got some Fs that aren't explained at all in the personal statement. I think that needs to be acknowledged somehow if she's going to get a scholarship.
I'm excited for this student and really hope it works out. Anyone helped a student in a similar situation and have advice?
In the meantime, she dropped out of college, moved somewhere else, got married, had 2 kids, and is now trying to return to school to finish her bachelor's degree and become a high school teacher. She has been accepted and needs the letter to apply for a scholarship. I very much want to support this woman. She was one of my most memorable and impressive students, and was the first in her family to be born in the U.S. and attend college.
Before I can write her a powerful letter, I think I need to talk with her directly about her path back to school. Her writing could use some editing. She sent mer her personal statement, and I actually have a couple of her old person statements on file from years ago. Her family (parents especially) loom large in her writings and there are some discrepancies between the two versions that I wouldn't expect to change with time. I also saw her transcript and she got some Fs that aren't explained at all in the personal statement. I think that needs to be acknowledged somehow if she's going to get a scholarship.
I'm excited for this student and really hope it works out. Anyone helped a student in a similar situation and have advice?
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Falling into place
Although I was really down when I wrote my last post after yet another rejection, several good things have happened over the last 4 weeks. It feels like things are falling into place, and I am generally in a better mental place.
First of all, we moved into our own place. I only mentioned it right when we moved, but from Christmas until April 1 we lived with my mother-in-law (and a bunch of other people too, actually, in an intentional community). We had two bedrooms in the basement of a shared house so most of our stuff was stored elsewhere during that time, and our dog had to stay on a farm with my sister-in-law. It was great to be there with my amazing MIL while we started to get settled, but we were ready to have our own kitchen and living room again! We were waiting until the tenants in the house she rents out found a new place to live, which was delayed a month longer than originally planned. We are now thrilled to be reunited with our dog and the rest of our belongings in a house that is plenty big and even has a yard! After 6.5 years in Big City with a balcony, I am excited to have some dirt to dig in.
Then Adele and I went to visit my parents, and they watched her while I spent a couple of days at Small Friendly College. I talked with students about graduate school and my path as a woman in science. I was feeling pretty awful about my career going into this time, and I joked that I hoped I'd get some useful insights-- and I did. I realized that the students I was talking to faced the same challenge I did-- to convey their diverse skills and experiences in a way that makes them come across as broadly qualified without sounding scattered and enthusiastic while being genuine. While talking to people there about my part-time postdoc, they helped me view it more positively and stop presenting it like it's not a real job. I came back feeling generally more optimistic and patient about my career.
Right after returning, I had lunch with a woman who I met several years ago when she interviewed to be my boss at the field station where I worked before grad school. Now she works at Exciting Non-Profit in Hometown and last month I applied for a job there. During our lunch conversation, I learned more about the position and she told me they were planning to invite me for a formal interview! It is scheduled for tomorrow, and it's four hours long! More about that below.
Last week, my postdoc advisor Dana told me that now she has not just 3 months part-time, not just 3 months full-time, but SIX months of full-time hours budgeted for me now, which I can spread out as long as I want while I continue to look for jobs! I'm about to start in a big re-analysis of some data for her, and there are two more similar projects. All projects that I can be a co-author on. Dana is almost single-handedly keeping me in science right now, and I am grateful.
Another thing that has been a source of frustration has been juggling work around caring for Adele. We've been in a childcare catch-22: We need to work more to be able to afford childcare, but we need childcare to be able to do more work. This is true for both of us. I truly feel like I would have already found a full-time job here if I wasn't so tied up caring for Adele. There are several jobs that have come up in the last month as well as unrealized networking potential, and I just haven't been able to do it, let alone make time to advance my dissertation chapters (UGH!). After moving where we intend to live for the foreseeable future, we started looking seriously for childcare. I thought starting her 2-3 days per week would be a manageable expense, but then after discussing with Jon the amount Dana has budgeted for me, we decided to go for full time. We contacted a few places that wouldn't have an opening for her until August 2015 (more than a year from now!), and I was generally overwhelmed and discouraged by the whole thing. But to make a long story short, last week we visited a friendly, organized, in-home daycare that is less than a mile away with an immediate opening, so we started her full-time yesterday! This frees up both of us to work MUCH more, and I think it will be good for her to spend time with other kids.
I am excited about my job interview tomorrow, but I am not going to pin all of my hopes and dreams on it. I have a job for at least 6 months now, so I'm not desperate. I don't need this job. There will be others. I can go in feeling good about the work I'm doing now and present it and my journey over the last year positively. No one wants to hire a bitter, desperate person any more than they want to date one, so I'm incredibly thankful that things have started falling into place.
First of all, we moved into our own place. I only mentioned it right when we moved, but from Christmas until April 1 we lived with my mother-in-law (and a bunch of other people too, actually, in an intentional community). We had two bedrooms in the basement of a shared house so most of our stuff was stored elsewhere during that time, and our dog had to stay on a farm with my sister-in-law. It was great to be there with my amazing MIL while we started to get settled, but we were ready to have our own kitchen and living room again! We were waiting until the tenants in the house she rents out found a new place to live, which was delayed a month longer than originally planned. We are now thrilled to be reunited with our dog and the rest of our belongings in a house that is plenty big and even has a yard! After 6.5 years in Big City with a balcony, I am excited to have some dirt to dig in.
Then Adele and I went to visit my parents, and they watched her while I spent a couple of days at Small Friendly College. I talked with students about graduate school and my path as a woman in science. I was feeling pretty awful about my career going into this time, and I joked that I hoped I'd get some useful insights-- and I did. I realized that the students I was talking to faced the same challenge I did-- to convey their diverse skills and experiences in a way that makes them come across as broadly qualified without sounding scattered and enthusiastic while being genuine. While talking to people there about my part-time postdoc, they helped me view it more positively and stop presenting it like it's not a real job. I came back feeling generally more optimistic and patient about my career.
Right after returning, I had lunch with a woman who I met several years ago when she interviewed to be my boss at the field station where I worked before grad school. Now she works at Exciting Non-Profit in Hometown and last month I applied for a job there. During our lunch conversation, I learned more about the position and she told me they were planning to invite me for a formal interview! It is scheduled for tomorrow, and it's four hours long! More about that below.
Last week, my postdoc advisor Dana told me that now she has not just 3 months part-time, not just 3 months full-time, but SIX months of full-time hours budgeted for me now, which I can spread out as long as I want while I continue to look for jobs! I'm about to start in a big re-analysis of some data for her, and there are two more similar projects. All projects that I can be a co-author on. Dana is almost single-handedly keeping me in science right now, and I am grateful.
Another thing that has been a source of frustration has been juggling work around caring for Adele. We've been in a childcare catch-22: We need to work more to be able to afford childcare, but we need childcare to be able to do more work. This is true for both of us. I truly feel like I would have already found a full-time job here if I wasn't so tied up caring for Adele. There are several jobs that have come up in the last month as well as unrealized networking potential, and I just haven't been able to do it, let alone make time to advance my dissertation chapters (UGH!). After moving where we intend to live for the foreseeable future, we started looking seriously for childcare. I thought starting her 2-3 days per week would be a manageable expense, but then after discussing with Jon the amount Dana has budgeted for me, we decided to go for full time. We contacted a few places that wouldn't have an opening for her until August 2015 (more than a year from now!), and I was generally overwhelmed and discouraged by the whole thing. But to make a long story short, last week we visited a friendly, organized, in-home daycare that is less than a mile away with an immediate opening, so we started her full-time yesterday! This frees up both of us to work MUCH more, and I think it will be good for her to spend time with other kids.
I am excited about my job interview tomorrow, but I am not going to pin all of my hopes and dreams on it. I have a job for at least 6 months now, so I'm not desperate. I don't need this job. There will be others. I can go in feeling good about the work I'm doing now and present it and my journey over the last year positively. No one wants to hire a bitter, desperate person any more than they want to date one, so I'm incredibly thankful that things have started falling into place.
Friday, March 7, 2014
The challenges of being officeless
As someone who is still kind of drifting as an under-employed (but not unemployed!) PhD, I really, really miss having an office. There are two distinct but related problems to not having an office in my circumstances. Problem 1: working. Problem 2: pumping.
I am the kind of person who enjoys working away from home because it helps keep me focused on work. There are too many distractions at home-- even before Adele was born! I did write quite a bit of my dissertation in our guest bed in the final stretch last year, but even that was mostly on the evenings and weekends, or when I really needed to avoid people at the office. I still spent most weekdays at the office. In the fall I spent less time at my office because I was trying to work more at home because of Adele. It was easier to work with her around when she was less mobile. Even when Jon is watching her, it's hard for me to not be distracted by her if I work at home.
I've never been much of a coffee shop worker myself, but I have to say that I've started to appreciate the appeal now as a parent. Somewhere I can go for a time out of the house is great! But I need more than just a couple of hours here and there to focus on the big stuff.
So why don't I just hole up somewhere for the entire day? This brings me to the pumping. Last time I checked, Starbucks didn't have a lactation room. If I'm gone more than a few hours, I have to pump. I need an outlet somewhere private that isn't a bathroom. Ideally I need access to a sink, too. I have to bring the pump with me while I'm working, and without an office, I need to bring my computer with me while I pump. It's all very cumbersome and annoying.
In order to be out of the house all day and work, I have been researching the lactation rooms at local institutions (thank you for putting info about your lactation rooms online!) and strategizing where I can sit and work in that same building in between pumping. This hasn't been very easy. The places I've found to work aren't very quiet. Or I can't get online as a guest at the institution.
As a graduate student, I was really lucky and mostly had an office to myself. I technically shared it, but with people who never really used it. This meant that I could almost always pump there uninterrupted. It was wonderfully convenient! I just left my pump there and carried a little cooler back and forth with the milk.
Today I went to a seminar at a place I might as well call Hometown U. HU has designated lactation rooms which I've used before, but they are not in or near the seminar building. I decided I wouldn't bother trying to work there and leave the pump at home because of the hassle.
While at the seminar, I remembered that a postdoc had mentioned when I was there last week that she had a baby. Today, I asked how old her baby was (1 month younger than Adele!). I asked if she was pumping. (yes!). I asked where. She took me straight across the hall to an unused lab space of a new faculty member who was letting her pump there. She had her pump all set up. Then she took me to the kind and understanding faculty member whose lab space it was, and he promptly gave me a key to the room. All I had to do was ask the right person! Now I have a space where I can work and pump on days when I'm at HU.
A desk in a secure room and a private place to pump might just help bridge this gap and keep me in science.
I am the kind of person who enjoys working away from home because it helps keep me focused on work. There are too many distractions at home-- even before Adele was born! I did write quite a bit of my dissertation in our guest bed in the final stretch last year, but even that was mostly on the evenings and weekends, or when I really needed to avoid people at the office. I still spent most weekdays at the office. In the fall I spent less time at my office because I was trying to work more at home because of Adele. It was easier to work with her around when she was less mobile. Even when Jon is watching her, it's hard for me to not be distracted by her if I work at home.
I've never been much of a coffee shop worker myself, but I have to say that I've started to appreciate the appeal now as a parent. Somewhere I can go for a time out of the house is great! But I need more than just a couple of hours here and there to focus on the big stuff.
So why don't I just hole up somewhere for the entire day? This brings me to the pumping. Last time I checked, Starbucks didn't have a lactation room. If I'm gone more than a few hours, I have to pump. I need an outlet somewhere private that isn't a bathroom. Ideally I need access to a sink, too. I have to bring the pump with me while I'm working, and without an office, I need to bring my computer with me while I pump. It's all very cumbersome and annoying.
In order to be out of the house all day and work, I have been researching the lactation rooms at local institutions (thank you for putting info about your lactation rooms online!) and strategizing where I can sit and work in that same building in between pumping. This hasn't been very easy. The places I've found to work aren't very quiet. Or I can't get online as a guest at the institution.
As a graduate student, I was really lucky and mostly had an office to myself. I technically shared it, but with people who never really used it. This meant that I could almost always pump there uninterrupted. It was wonderfully convenient! I just left my pump there and carried a little cooler back and forth with the milk.
Today I went to a seminar at a place I might as well call Hometown U. HU has designated lactation rooms which I've used before, but they are not in or near the seminar building. I decided I wouldn't bother trying to work there and leave the pump at home because of the hassle.
While at the seminar, I remembered that a postdoc had mentioned when I was there last week that she had a baby. Today, I asked how old her baby was (1 month younger than Adele!). I asked if she was pumping. (yes!). I asked where. She took me straight across the hall to an unused lab space of a new faculty member who was letting her pump there. She had her pump all set up. Then she took me to the kind and understanding faculty member whose lab space it was, and he promptly gave me a key to the room. All I had to do was ask the right person! Now I have a space where I can work and pump on days when I'm at HU.
A desk in a secure room and a private place to pump might just help bridge this gap and keep me in science.
Friday, January 31, 2014
Tell me your triumph-over-career-adversity stories
Recently I became friends on Facebook with another woman I know from science. She did fieldwork in Nyota too, but before I was there. She's a postdoc a few years ahead of me in her career with several publications and she had a child since I last saw her. While catching up over Facebook, she said, "we have a very nice life here, low cost of living etc. Good luck on the job search, I never went, so my career is over. My husband has a good job here, so I guess that is it." She did interview for a tenure-track position, but she was pregnant at the time and said it didn't go well.
I am all for supporting women in their career decisions, but it is discouraging when those decisions are more like resignations.
As I sit here trying to write emails to people I want to network with while my daughter cries because she isn't going down easy for this nap, my husband is away for 2 weeks because we really need his income, and I just got another rejection letter, I need to hear some good things. I really, really, really need to hear some success stories instead of more news about how hard it is for women in science.
Please, tell me stories about people who have been unemployed after graduation and then found a satisfying job (academic or not). Tell me about someone who bounced back after a major health setback. Tell me about a new parent who took some time off at a transition point in their career and went on to do great things. Please tell me about the person who graduated without a job and didn't end up as a perpetual adjunct. Tell me how you made it work.
I need to hear encouraging stories, and I doubt I'm the only one. Please share!
I am all for supporting women in their career decisions, but it is discouraging when those decisions are more like resignations.
As I sit here trying to write emails to people I want to network with while my daughter cries because she isn't going down easy for this nap, my husband is away for 2 weeks because we really need his income, and I just got another rejection letter, I need to hear some good things. I really, really, really need to hear some success stories instead of more news about how hard it is for women in science.
Please, tell me stories about people who have been unemployed after graduation and then found a satisfying job (academic or not). Tell me about someone who bounced back after a major health setback. Tell me about a new parent who took some time off at a transition point in their career and went on to do great things. Please tell me about the person who graduated without a job and didn't end up as a perpetual adjunct. Tell me how you made it work.
I need to hear encouraging stories, and I doubt I'm the only one. Please share!
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Inside candidates
A good friend of mine from grad school was recently interviewed for a fabulous job. It was in a place she wanted to be doing what she wanted to do. However, when she got there for the interview, they told her that she wasn't meeting the head honcho because he couldn't be on the search committee due to a conflict of interest. His wife was also a candidate for the position. So, my friend went through the rest of the day-long interview feeling a bit bummed, but it also took some of the pressure off. Her odds of getting the position were low, so she might as well swing for the fences and really tell them her vision.
They offered her the job. I am so excited for her! I love having such awesome friends! I can't wait to see what she does in this position.
They offered her the job. I am so excited for her! I love having such awesome friends! I can't wait to see what she does in this position.
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Six months!
Six months! Adele is six months old today! In that time she has more than doubled her weight (7 pounds 10 ounces to 16 pounds 9 ounces), learned how to smile, laugh, babble, roll over, sit up unassisted, and reach for toys. She has tasted a few foods (sweet potatoes, pasta, bread, apple) but has gotten all of her calories from breast milk. It's pretty amazing that I have the ability to feed another human.
Motherhood got off to a rocky start, but I am thankful that I have gotten stronger faster than she has gotten bigger. I am glad I was able to return to work on my own schedule, so I could ease back into working full time. Teaching this semester has been way more demanding than I hoped and expected, but I have still had a fair amount of flexibility so that I have been able to bring her to school with me sometimes (getting help from friends there) on days when Jon can't watch her. It's frustrating when I can't get anything done because I can never get my hands free, but she's been a pretty easy baby overall. Here's hoping for an even better 6 months ahead!
Motherhood got off to a rocky start, but I am thankful that I have gotten stronger faster than she has gotten bigger. I am glad I was able to return to work on my own schedule, so I could ease back into working full time. Teaching this semester has been way more demanding than I hoped and expected, but I have still had a fair amount of flexibility so that I have been able to bring her to school with me sometimes (getting help from friends there) on days when Jon can't watch her. It's frustrating when I can't get anything done because I can never get my hands free, but she's been a pretty easy baby overall. Here's hoping for an even better 6 months ahead!
Monday, July 22, 2013
I Am A Scientist
Sometimes a good email can really pick you up. I hardly got anything done last week (other than feeding my baby) and was feeling overwhelmed and unmotivated. Early this morning I read the suggestion* to have a "feel good" email folder where you keep messages that make you do just that. Jon has suggested something like this before to help me fend off the Impostor Monster. Today I got two feelgood emails that motivated me to have a productive afternoon preparing for ESA.
First I got an email about scheduling a phone interview for a postdoc! I am "one of X highly qualified applicants." It feels good to make the shortlist. (I was not offered the other job I interviewed for, but it sounds like it was a difficult decision for them, and honestly it's for the best. Starting that job this fall would have been incredibly stressful and difficult considering my compromised health).
Then I got an email from someone on a scouting trip to do doctoral research in Nyota. She emailed Sam for advice, and Sam referred her to me! I suppose I'm something of an expert on how to be an outsider. Years ago I started a document with all kinds of notes about things I wish I'd known when I started research in Nyota, so it is rewarding to pass on that information. She also met one of my field assistants who immediately asked her if she knew me, and told her "she's great." Considering the sometimes difficult relationship with my field assistants, that is wonderful to hear.
This month I have also received some email requests for pdf of my first published dissertation chapter. Even better, someone said it "make my day" when they found the paper. I even skyped with that person who wanted my feedback on her project idea. The paper went through 4 or 5 journals and nearly 100 numbered document versions and just dragged on and on in review, but now it feels like it truly was worth it.
On days like this I can own it. I Am A Scientist.
*It was in this excellent post that describes one woman's liberating attitude towards and honest tale of being a tenure-track faculty member (at Harvard!).
First I got an email about scheduling a phone interview for a postdoc! I am "one of X highly qualified applicants." It feels good to make the shortlist. (I was not offered the other job I interviewed for, but it sounds like it was a difficult decision for them, and honestly it's for the best. Starting that job this fall would have been incredibly stressful and difficult considering my compromised health).
Then I got an email from someone on a scouting trip to do doctoral research in Nyota. She emailed Sam for advice, and Sam referred her to me! I suppose I'm something of an expert on how to be an outsider. Years ago I started a document with all kinds of notes about things I wish I'd known when I started research in Nyota, so it is rewarding to pass on that information. She also met one of my field assistants who immediately asked her if she knew me, and told her "she's great." Considering the sometimes difficult relationship with my field assistants, that is wonderful to hear.
This month I have also received some email requests for pdf of my first published dissertation chapter. Even better, someone said it "make my day" when they found the paper. I even skyped with that person who wanted my feedback on her project idea. The paper went through 4 or 5 journals and nearly 100 numbered document versions and just dragged on and on in review, but now it feels like it truly was worth it.
On days like this I can own it. I Am A Scientist.
*It was in this excellent post that describes one woman's liberating attitude towards and honest tale of being a tenure-track faculty member (at Harvard!).
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Back in the saddle
Adele will be 8 weeks old on Thursday. Yesterday I submitted a job application-- the first new application since my defense. I'm almost caught up on my email backlog. I'm planning to go to my office 1 or 2 days this week. At home, I can work at my desk while bouncing her in her bouncer with my foot or wearing her (still getting used to that). I can tell I'm feeling better because I'm thinking about work again. I'm my own boss, and I'm choosing to get back to work which makes it less overwhelming because I can do it on my own schedule.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
My first postdoc interview
I had a Skype interview (with video) for the aforementioned postdoc. I told them I'm pregnant when they asked about my start date. As far as I could tell, they didn't bat an eye. They said they'd rather have the right person start later than a less-than-ideal candidate start sooner, so it's good I applied.
I am really, really excited about this project. I had a great time talking with them. I hope I get another interview! I still have many logistical questions, but it at least seems feasible and that there is some flexibility in terms of how the postdoc configures their responsibilities.
I have a few doubts about how I answered a couple of questions and wish I could go back and say more. I hate second-guessing myself on these things. But overall I feel good about it. I think they liked me and they seemed happy about my excitement for particular challenges of this project (e.g. data management).
Sounds like they have a couple more interviews to do and they might have a second round. Hopefully I'll hear something after my defense next week.
Monday, April 15, 2013
On the shortlist
When I submitted the most recent postdoc application, I thought to myself, if I don't make the shortlist, then I definitely want to see who does. And I've got a phone interview! Very, very exciting.
I have been agonizing about when and how to tell them I'm pregnant. After several conversations with different people, I decided that I am going to mention it during the interview when it seems appropriate and explain my plan for childcare. Then if they offer me the job, I have many more logistical questions that I will ask to decide whether or not to take the job. You can bet I'll be blogging more about this later. For now, I have to prep for this interview so I can knock their socks off.
I have been agonizing about when and how to tell them I'm pregnant. After several conversations with different people, I decided that I am going to mention it during the interview when it seems appropriate and explain my plan for childcare. Then if they offer me the job, I have many more logistical questions that I will ask to decide whether or not to take the job. You can bet I'll be blogging more about this later. For now, I have to prep for this interview so I can knock their socks off.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Missing out
Right now there's a buzz about the twittersphere if you follow science-writer types because Science Online 2013 is happening. I tried to register, but alas, I didn't get a spot. It's probably just as well, considering that I have so much left to do on my dissertation, but it sure would have been fun!
But what I'm really bummed about is that there are at least three amazing workshops that I'd love to attend this summer that would be very helpful for my career. This summer. When I'll be breastfeeding a tiny infant. I'm pretty sure I'd try to go if I wasn't the food.
Oh well. Maybe another year.
But what I'm really bummed about is that there are at least three amazing workshops that I'd love to attend this summer that would be very helpful for my career. This summer. When I'll be breastfeeding a tiny infant. I'm pretty sure I'd try to go if I wasn't the food.
Oh well. Maybe another year.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Looking forward to 2013
2013 is going to be a year to remember*. I'm going to finish my dissertation, have a baby, find a job, and move. That sounds like quite enough! But, only one of those things is going to happen whether I plan it or not, and unfortunately it's not my dissertation. I've got some goal-setting to do.
Academic/Career
Finish my dissertation. My defense is scheduled. My committee thinks I can do this. I have one chapter done. Now I just need to finish the other four... in the next four months.
Submit two chapters for publication. I'm trying to be realistic here. Ideally this would happen before I defend, but I'm not sure that's possible now. We'll see.
Get a job. I have lots of work to do on this front, too. I've applied to only 2 jobs so far. My backup plan to stay in Big City has some holes. I need to find a job.
Present at a conference. I really want to go to ESA with 2-month old baby and Jon, but he thinks I'm crazy. I'm planning to go ahead and submit an abstract so I have the option but we'll see what happens. If we can't go (and August is probably when we'll be moving, too), then I'd like to attend a different conference in the fall.
Update my webpage bi-monthly. I'm "on the market" so I should have a nice and up-to-date website. I should also transition to my own domain name at some point this year.
Fitness
Exercise 4x per week. I know that there will be many weeks when this won't be possible, but it's important for me to keep going to the gym, even (especially?) when I'm stressed and pregnant. Prenatal yoga videos count, even short ones.
Do a race. Could be a short triathlon or even just a 5k. Something. Sometime in 2013. Probably after the baby is born.
Go dancing at least 4 times. This might be difficult. I think I might be able to go this month, but then I'll be too big and that will be awkward for dance partners. This might give me a good excuse to get out and do something after the baby is born, but then if we move somewhere with no dance scene this will be nearly impossible.
Home
Improve dog's socialization and walking. She needs to be better about meeting new dogs, and we still need to work more on not pulling. These are both important and should happen before the baby is born.
Do 5 more things on our Big City bucket list before we move. We're not going to get to all of them.
Blogging
Schedule time for blogging. I can use it as a reward for getting dissertation work done and it will hopefully result in more posts than the previous two years.
Metagoals
Refer to this list when I set my weekly goals. My weekly goal setting and daily task breakdown is going to be very important to finishing my dissertation and applying for jobs.
Add goals to this list as necessary-- in case I think of something else important.
I have no idea where we'll be at the end of this year. Maybe we'll be in Jon's hometown. Maybe we'll be in some small university town. Maybe we'll still be in Big City but getting ready to move. We haven't been in this position since 2007 when I was still waiting to hear from grad schools. It's exciting and daunting at the same time, since so many decisions remain up in the air until we have a destination. What kind of work will Jon be doing? What will our childcare arrangements be? Time will tell!
Happy New Year to all of my readers!
*The last really eventful year we had was 2009, but I hope that 2013 has less tragedy.
Academic/Career
Finish my dissertation. My defense is scheduled. My committee thinks I can do this. I have one chapter done. Now I just need to finish the other four... in the next four months.
Submit two chapters for publication. I'm trying to be realistic here. Ideally this would happen before I defend, but I'm not sure that's possible now. We'll see.
Get a job. I have lots of work to do on this front, too. I've applied to only 2 jobs so far. My backup plan to stay in Big City has some holes. I need to find a job.
Present at a conference. I really want to go to ESA with 2-month old baby and Jon, but he thinks I'm crazy. I'm planning to go ahead and submit an abstract so I have the option but we'll see what happens. If we can't go (and August is probably when we'll be moving, too), then I'd like to attend a different conference in the fall.
Update my webpage bi-monthly. I'm "on the market" so I should have a nice and up-to-date website. I should also transition to my own domain name at some point this year.
Fitness
Exercise 4x per week. I know that there will be many weeks when this won't be possible, but it's important for me to keep going to the gym, even (especially?) when I'm stressed and pregnant. Prenatal yoga videos count, even short ones.
Do a race. Could be a short triathlon or even just a 5k. Something. Sometime in 2013. Probably after the baby is born.
Go dancing at least 4 times. This might be difficult. I think I might be able to go this month, but then I'll be too big and that will be awkward for dance partners. This might give me a good excuse to get out and do something after the baby is born, but then if we move somewhere with no dance scene this will be nearly impossible.
Home
Improve dog's socialization and walking. She needs to be better about meeting new dogs, and we still need to work more on not pulling. These are both important and should happen before the baby is born.
Do 5 more things on our Big City bucket list before we move. We're not going to get to all of them.
Blogging
Schedule time for blogging. I can use it as a reward for getting dissertation work done and it will hopefully result in more posts than the previous two years.
Metagoals
Refer to this list when I set my weekly goals. My weekly goal setting and daily task breakdown is going to be very important to finishing my dissertation and applying for jobs.
Add goals to this list as necessary-- in case I think of something else important.
I have no idea where we'll be at the end of this year. Maybe we'll be in Jon's hometown. Maybe we'll be in some small university town. Maybe we'll still be in Big City but getting ready to move. We haven't been in this position since 2007 when I was still waiting to hear from grad schools. It's exciting and daunting at the same time, since so many decisions remain up in the air until we have a destination. What kind of work will Jon be doing? What will our childcare arrangements be? Time will tell!
Happy New Year to all of my readers!
*The last really eventful year we had was 2009, but I hope that 2013 has less tragedy.
Friday, November 16, 2012
I'm pregnant!
I had a hard time deciding what to title this post, so eventually I decided to just make it clear rather than clever. Jon and I are expecting a baby in late May or early June!
I've written before about how Herb is extremely supportive of his grad students having kids in grad school. I figured out a few years ago that my student health insurance covers maternity 100%. I've got my fellowship until August. It just seemed like a good time to go for it, so we did, and it worked. Apparently all of those years of birth control were money well spent!
I told my committee I'm pregnant- almost all of them in person. Herb said it had been a while since there was a baby in the lab and I was doing my part to keep up the lab fecundity. Sam said he thought I might be. Chip gave me a high five. Melody said, "Congrats- how far along are you?" Leo said, "Well-timed."
Boy am I motivated to finish- and now my committee knows the extra reason why! My defense is probably going to be April 23 or 24, and the baby is due May 31. Technically I'll finish in the summer term because that's when I'll submit my dissertation to the university. Do you think a baby counts as an external deadline? Or about as internal as deadlines get?
I've written before about how Herb is extremely supportive of his grad students having kids in grad school. I figured out a few years ago that my student health insurance covers maternity 100%. I've got my fellowship until August. It just seemed like a good time to go for it, so we did, and it worked. Apparently all of those years of birth control were money well spent!
I told my committee I'm pregnant- almost all of them in person. Herb said it had been a while since there was a baby in the lab and I was doing my part to keep up the lab fecundity. Sam said he thought I might be. Chip gave me a high five. Melody said, "Congrats- how far along are you?" Leo said, "Well-timed."
Boy am I motivated to finish- and now my committee knows the extra reason why! My defense is probably going to be April 23 or 24, and the baby is due May 31. Technically I'll finish in the summer term because that's when I'll submit my dissertation to the university. Do you think a baby counts as an external deadline? Or about as internal as deadlines get?
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
In search of an old post
I have a vague recollection of reading a post a while back (2 years ago? 3 years?) about women in science putting the brakes on their careers for impending motherhood years in advance. I recall the advice being something like, "Go do your awesome science all-out, don't put the brakes on before you've even started, and it won't matter when you take maternity leave because your science will be so badass that they won't doubt your ability to keep it up." Obviously I'm paraphrasing here and I might have gotten part of the message wrong, but is this ringing a bell for anyone else? Was it a post by Isis? I've been searching her blog but I can't find what I'm looking for. Where did I read this???
Saturday, September 29, 2012
How to level the playing field for women in science?
I decided to take a class this semester on women in science. We've been reading and discussing articles about different challenges that women face. Next week I'm supposed to present on possible solutions, and I'd love to hear ideas and suggestions from my readers. I'm particularly concerned with what happens to women in science during and after graduate school.
I'll briefly summarize some of the issues we've discussed and the research behind them.
All qualifications being equal on paper, female college graduates (intending to go on to grad school in science) are perceived to be less competent than identical male college grads (Science faculty's subtle gender biases favor male students). Many excellent bloggers have written extensively about this new research (here, here, and here for starters). It is important to note that both men and women who were evaluating qualifications rated men more competent than identical women.
A similar gender bias exists in single-blind peer review (Double-blind review favours increased representation of female authors). This suggests that double-blind peer review reduces unintentional gender bias that subtly discriminates against work by female authors.
In psychology, identical cv's with male or female names found lower rates of hire (at the assistant professor level) and starting salaries for the female name (The impact of gender on the review of the curricula vitae of job applicants and tenure candidates: A national empirical study).
The emerging story from experimentation is that based solely on their perceived gender, women are perceived to be less competent in science, less likely to get papers published, less likely to be hired, and offered lower starting salaries (pre- and post-PhD). These are issues that affect women regardless of their partnership or parenthood status.
Additionally, many researchers have gathered information from scientists at various career stages about other factors that influence metrics of success (salary, grants, publications, etc.) such as work-life balance and parenthood.
A survey of academics from various fields at different types of institutions from across the U.S. found that among partnered academics, women tend to have partners who work more hours than men (Balancing Parenthood and Academia: Work/Family Stress as Influenced by Gender and Tenure Status). Women are much more likely to have spouse who is employed more than 40 hours per week. They also found that women tend to do a larger share of childcare/housework, even when their spouse is also employed full-time. Very similar results were found in a survey of tropical ecologists by the Organization for Tropical Studies (Dramatic Improvements and Persistent Challenges for Women Ecologists). A good overview on this topic is The family life of academics: gendered priorities and institutional constraints.
Considering the present challenges, what ideas do you have for leveling the playing field for women, particularly in science and academia? What can be done to better accommodate caregiving responsibilities? Do you know of any institutions (e.g. universities/granting agencies) with exemplary policies?
I've heard suggestions (some of which are already enacted to various degrees) such as wider adoption of double-blind peer review (as mentioned above), allowing child care expenses in grant budgets, improving parental leave options (maternal AND paternal), and adjusting the tenure clock. I have to admit that I know little about tenure clock policies, so I'd love to hear suggestions for readings on that topic.
I worry sometimes that discussion of women's issues focus heavily on parenthood, which can be narrow, presumptive, and alienating for women who cannot or choose not to have children. I'd also love to hear comments from readers outside the U.S. on the pros and cons of their policies affecting women in science in their countries, since my perspective is very U.S.-centric.
Note: I believe that all of the articles to which I linked can be found for free online, but not necessarily via the links I provided. If you can't find any of these, feel free to email me.
I'll briefly summarize some of the issues we've discussed and the research behind them.
All qualifications being equal on paper, female college graduates (intending to go on to grad school in science) are perceived to be less competent than identical male college grads (Science faculty's subtle gender biases favor male students). Many excellent bloggers have written extensively about this new research (here, here, and here for starters). It is important to note that both men and women who were evaluating qualifications rated men more competent than identical women.
A similar gender bias exists in single-blind peer review (Double-blind review favours increased representation of female authors). This suggests that double-blind peer review reduces unintentional gender bias that subtly discriminates against work by female authors.
In psychology, identical cv's with male or female names found lower rates of hire (at the assistant professor level) and starting salaries for the female name (The impact of gender on the review of the curricula vitae of job applicants and tenure candidates: A national empirical study).
The emerging story from experimentation is that based solely on their perceived gender, women are perceived to be less competent in science, less likely to get papers published, less likely to be hired, and offered lower starting salaries (pre- and post-PhD). These are issues that affect women regardless of their partnership or parenthood status.
Additionally, many researchers have gathered information from scientists at various career stages about other factors that influence metrics of success (salary, grants, publications, etc.) such as work-life balance and parenthood.
A survey of academics from various fields at different types of institutions from across the U.S. found that among partnered academics, women tend to have partners who work more hours than men (Balancing Parenthood and Academia: Work/Family Stress as Influenced by Gender and Tenure Status). Women are much more likely to have spouse who is employed more than 40 hours per week. They also found that women tend to do a larger share of childcare/housework, even when their spouse is also employed full-time. Very similar results were found in a survey of tropical ecologists by the Organization for Tropical Studies (Dramatic Improvements and Persistent Challenges for Women Ecologists). A good overview on this topic is The family life of academics: gendered priorities and institutional constraints.
Considering the present challenges, what ideas do you have for leveling the playing field for women, particularly in science and academia? What can be done to better accommodate caregiving responsibilities? Do you know of any institutions (e.g. universities/granting agencies) with exemplary policies?
I've heard suggestions (some of which are already enacted to various degrees) such as wider adoption of double-blind peer review (as mentioned above), allowing child care expenses in grant budgets, improving parental leave options (maternal AND paternal), and adjusting the tenure clock. I have to admit that I know little about tenure clock policies, so I'd love to hear suggestions for readings on that topic.
I worry sometimes that discussion of women's issues focus heavily on parenthood, which can be narrow, presumptive, and alienating for women who cannot or choose not to have children. I'd also love to hear comments from readers outside the U.S. on the pros and cons of their policies affecting women in science in their countries, since my perspective is very U.S.-centric.
I'm purposely not being too specific in terms of solutions other people have suggested, but a 2009 report, Staying Competitive: Patching America’s Leaky Pipeline in the Sciences, offers many suggestions (especially regarding issues related to parenthood).
Note: I believe that all of the articles to which I linked can be found for free online, but not necessarily via the links I provided. If you can't find any of these, feel free to email me.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
To take or not to take: Women in science course
I've far exceeded the number of classes/credits required for my program. I'm finished collecting data. I'm ABD. I'm trying to finish next summer. I don't need to take another class.
But this fall my department is offering a graduate seminar on women in ecology & evolution. I'd really like to take it. I think it would be interesting and informative.
I just can't decide if I should do it because I really want to finish next summer. I'd have to do a presentation, write a paper, do readings, and participate in discussions. It would meet once a week. I'm torn. What do you think?
But this fall my department is offering a graduate seminar on women in ecology & evolution. I'd really like to take it. I think it would be interesting and informative.
I just can't decide if I should do it because I really want to finish next summer. I'd have to do a presentation, write a paper, do readings, and participate in discussions. It would meet once a week. I'm torn. What do you think?
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Why I love FSP
I drafted this post two and a half years ago, and clearly it's long overdue. On May 31, FSP said So Long and Thanks for All the Wombats.
Anyone who's any kind of science enthusiast should read what FemaleScienceProfessor has to say. I love her blog so much, and I'd like to explain why.
Anyone who's any kind of science enthusiast should read what FemaleScienceProfessor has to say. I love her blog so much, and I'd like to explain why.
- She's prolific. She
turnsturned out about one awesome post per day. I wonder if she had them queued up and if so for how long? - She's got history. She
has been bloggingblogged for 6 years and been a professor for many more. She's a full tenured professor in a field without many women. Clearly this woman has her shit together.
- It's never just the daily grind. She writes in a general way about her experiences, not just what she did today. Her blog is more than just some kind of public journal like mine- she writes for an audience.
- As far as I know, she's never been caught up in any petty blogging drama. Good for her.
- She published a book of her blog posts. How cool is that?
She might keep blogging at Scientopia, and her blog is still up, so you should still use it to extract some wisdom and experience while you can. FSP, your voice will be missed. Thank you for everything that you have written.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Not old or male
Someone asked me to contribute to a popular writing piece "in the interests of more gender equity." They needed someone who wasn't an old, white man. I'm white, but not old or male. FemaleScienceProfessor recently wrote about this phenomenon, "Because I'm a woman." I almost titled this post the exact same thing. Considering how my research focus shifted away from the particular topic of interest, I probably wan't an obvious choice for this except that they didn't want to have too many photos of grey-haired dudes. I'm ok with that. I think my contribution will be just as good as the others. But I definitely was surprised when the person went on to elaborate about how they had only one woman other than me. I thought there were more of us around than that?
Friday, September 16, 2011
Parallel lives?
At one of the permit offices here I met another American woman getting her research paperwork squared away. As we chatted and talked about our research and backgrounds we found some crazy similarities. We are both 5th year phd students who first came here in 2008. We both have husbands (named Jon!) who we met in college and married in spring 2009. She studied abroad in the same place I did in the same academic year and we graduated in the same year. But these last few really take the cake- she and her now-husband also spent a year in Remote Foreign Country where she applied to grad school and then they lived in Big City for 2 years! Crazy!
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