Monday, June 10, 2013


Pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding have kicked my ass. I had pelvic girdle pain for the last 4 months of pregnancy that limited my mobility (sometimes severely). After birth I had a uterine inversion and lost 3.5 liters of blood. Then I was readmitted to the hospital for 4 days with endomitritis. Now Adele and I both have thrush which makes breastfeeding painful (on and off for 2 weeks already). We're doing all sorts of things to fight it and I'm starting an elimination diet to try and squash it before it gets out of hand.

I watch cyclists and runners with envy. I haven't been able to take our dog for a walk since January. I still can't walk normally or with any speed at all. There are tons of things I didn't get done before Adele was born, nothing super important (maybe except for not yet submitted that damn chapter 2 for publication) but lots of things that are naggingly left undone (like a billion thank you notes). I don't have a job and only one application out there.

I want to have energy again. I want to be able to move and exercise. I want to get off the emotional rollercoaster. I don't want to be so completely overwhelmed. I can't wait to feel normal again and be able to do normal things normally.


Alyssa said...

Lots of hugs to you. Pregnancy and early motherhood can really take a toll, especially since you've had a particularly rough go. Try to do something for yourself every now and then, even if it's. Just taking a bath or reading a book. It is pretty normal to feel this way, but if you feel like its not getting better, it could be PPD.

sarcozona said...

What an exhausting and difficult time! I am so glad you are ok. I cannot believe you lost so much blood - that is extraordinary.

When I am sick with migraines it is best not to focus too much on what I am currently unable to do. That makes me very stressed and sometimes, combined with the pain, makes me want to die.

I don't know if this is possible with a little baby or matches your personality, but my strategy is to do very small tasks when I'm feeling well enough physically/emotionally/mentally and otherwise do things I love but don't have enough time for normally - like reading silly novels, playing the piano, baking fancy things, and watching every star trek episode ever.

Karina said...

Thank you both. sarcozona I have been thinking about you a lot after reading your post the other day about your dreadful experience going to the doctor. I like your suggestion to not focus on my limitations and to do little things. I'm trying to do small things. I do a lot of reading on my ipad during nursing.